Topic: Talking to my parents about assisted living

Talking to my parents about assisted living

Forum Family Family Talking to my parents about assisted living

This topic contains 7 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Artisan .

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  • I would like to talk to my parents about retirement homes and assisted living. I have been putting it off for obvious reasons, but the situation at home is overwhelming me and I can’t cope with it much longer.

    I’m not sure how to approach this. I’m also feeling a bit nervous. I would hate for this to turn ugly and sour any relationship I have with my parents.

    Any advice?

    I understand that it’s not easy. Assisted living never easy. Perhaps what you can try to do is plant a few seeds here and there. Don’t just suddenly bring this subject up.

    Timing may be the key. For example, perhaps one of your parents may have had a fall or injury. This is a good time to mention it, casually. You can bring up how assisted living will help to prevent injuries.

    Maybe your parents have been saying that they find it difficult to do certain things. This can be a good opportunity to broach the topic.

    Do you have any siblings? If you do, try to get them to help you too. It isn’t just your responsibility then, even if you are the eldest. It is theirs too. Perhaps you could discuss this privately before approaching your parents. Then, with a plan, you could help to encourage your folks to consider it, keeping it positive.

    Have a nice meal together and discuss it. You can tell them to think about it while they are relatively alright. This way, it isn’t immediate. When things become a little more pressing, then they may be open to it much more. When falls or mobility issues become more of a concern, they may be open to make the move.

    Why don’t you ask the advice of your family doctor? Your doctor may be able to assess the urgency of the situation much better.

    At the same time, your doctor may be able to talk to your parents about it. This could save you the trouble of doing so. Coming from the doctor, it may be easier.

    I agree. I think asking the doctor is a good move. At the same time, let your parents know that nothing has been arranged. Nothing is concrete; no decision has been made. If the doctor mentions this to the folks, maybe you can visit a few assisted living facilities with your parents. There may be some kind of tour available.

    Seeing the environment firsthand and witnessing activities can be helpful, at least for my parents. Some places have dancing, bingo, poker nights and all kinds of fun events.

    Take a look at Red Oak Retirement Homes as an example. You could call them and perhaps even plan a visit. I actually have a relative there and she’s really happy.

    One thing you should look into first is the financial situation. Speak to someone in the industry. Perhaps your parents won’t require all the services.

    I am sure there must be packages. Perhaps there is one that is suitable for your parents. You need to be careful because it can deplete finances. If a service isn’t required, why waste money needlessly on it?

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